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We wore ties every day, we always had to be on a sports team, our school day went from to It was like the military, but the drill sergeants wore robes. Far more rigid than the monks were the boys. Mean girls are legendary in our culture, but put a bunch of teenage males under one roof and see what happens.

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It was a conformity factory, because the price of nonconformity was attention, and the attention of a building full of pubescent boys in ties is not the kind of thing you want. I kept my head down. But that summer, I enrolled in the creative-writing program of a summer school for artsy kids, and the tie came off. The weird were in charge here. I spent the whole six weeks of this program with a smile so wide even the drama kids were like: dial it back. If you told me it was cooked up in an hour by a small-market Morning Zoo team, I would have no choice but to believe you.


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From Motorhead. Middle-aged rock legends making compromises: hot hot hot in It was like watching a torturously slow breakup between a person who is ready to move on and a person who is absolutely not going to be okay. Simply Fred wore black turtlenecks almost exclusively, despite the punishing St.

Louis heat. He gesticulated wildly with his hands, which he tucked into his sleeves, giving him the effect of an inflatable dancing man outside of a goth used car dealership. I closely monitored my every word, my every gesture, my every letter S , but Simply Fred let it all hang out. He was proud of himself. He was too gay to function, and yet he functioned. As a teenage boy. In Cashback rates are set by the retailer and are subject to increase or decrease at any time. Although we will always endeavour to inform you of accurate expected cashback levels they can never be guaranteed and therefore you may receive slightly more or less than anticipated.

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My Adventures with la Femme Charmee

For security reasons, if this is the first time you have logged into our new Exclusive Card site you will need to confirm your password. Please type your email in the box and then click on the Forgotten password link. Secretaries and personal assistants are examples of Right Arms, taking care of the day-to-day details of life. You might have an inner Companion that takes care of the details and allows another archetype to focus on work central to your mission.

Companions are associated with providing emotional rather than sexual support. Platonic or friendship bonds are more in keeping with that particular archetype. The Damsel in Distress may be the oldest female archetype in all of popular literature and the movies. She is always beautiful, vulnerable, and in need of rescue, specifically by a Knight and, once rescued, she is taken care of in lavish style. When disappointed, a Damsel must go through a process of empowerment and learn to take care of herself in the world. The shadow side of this archetype mistakenly teaches old patricarchal views that women are weak and teaches them to be helpless and in need of protection.

It leads a woman to expect to have someone else who will fight her battles for her while she remains devoted and physically attractive and concealed in the castle. Many women still expect to marry a man who will give them a castle and take of them. And some men are raised to expect to do this see Prince and Knight. It also often shatters the relationship when the Prince or Knight grows older and expects to have a perennially young, attractive Princess at his beck and call. The Princess inevitably grows older even if she remains helpless.

Or she becomes more interetsed in the outside world, develops skills and competiencies and is unable to maintain the same old dynamic of dependency. The Princess is more often associated with romance rather than distress. She awaits a Knight who is worthy of her beauty and rank and will take her not to his castle but to a palace. The castles that Damsels are taken to have prisons, cold stone walls, drawbridges, and moats.

Palaces are fantastically beautiful and charmed and are associated with ballrooms and elegance.


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The challenge inherent in these archetypal patterns, therefore, is to do for yourself what you expect the Knight to do for you—provide and protect yourself. Even when used positively, the word can imply an unreal, bland, or cosseted character, like the teenage daughter nicknamed Princess on the TV series Father Knows Best.

But a genuine Princess looks out not for her own comfort and whimsy but for the welfare of those around her. In Asian, tales abound of clever and resourceful Princesses, of conflicts between schools of martial arts for instance in which a Prince and Princess battle it out, as depicted in the Ang Lee film Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. And Scheherezade bravely married the sultan who had decided to kill all his new wives at daybreak, and beguiled him with tales for a thousand and one nights until he rescinded his decree, thus saving all the women.

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In reviewing your relationship to this archetype, return to your fantasies as a young girl and note what your expectations were in looking for a mate. Did you think or behave like a Damsel? Were you hoping to be rescued? And if you are now coping with the consequences of a broken relationship, can you trace the reasons for the failed partnership back to being disappointed that your expectations as Damsel were not met? She never married, and won 10, horses.

Destruction and Reconstruction is another way of describing the Death and Rebirth cycle of life. Systems and structures must be dismantled so that new life can be born. Myths and legends about gods and goddesses bringing destruction to the earth are common to all traditions. Yahweh destroyed the world through the great Flood and rained fire and brimstone on Sodom and Gommorah. In the Hindu tradition, the goddess Kali, generally pictured wearing a belt made of dismembered arms and a necklace of human skulls, represents the positive power of destruction, annihilating ignorance and maintaining the world order.

The impulse to destroy and rebuild is archetypal. We are bound to that cycle and therein lies the learning. Destruction also refers to releasing that which is destroying us, and, so, many therapists and other healers serve the role of the Destroyer by assisting others to release destructive emotions or behavior. The power of positive destruction is enormously healing and liberating. The Destroyer generates death, madness, and abuse and targets individuals and groups. It can manifest as a nation that destroys other nations or people who destroy the environment. Positive characteristics of the Detective include the ability to seek out knowledge and information that supports solving crimes and protecting the public.

Detectives combine great powers of observation with highly evolved intuition to deduce the solutions to crimes. Whereas the Detective is public and often highly respected—especially its modern counterpart, the police Profiler—the empowered Spy is associated far more with the surreptitious and often illegal acquisition of secret information regarding politics, business, or national security. Hansson or British intelligence officer and Soviet spy Kim Philby are considered traitors.

The shadow side of these archetypes can manifest as voyeurism, falsifying information, or selling out to the highest bidder. Although the word has the negative connotation of a dabbler who seeks only a cursory knowledge or experience, it never completely loses the sense of delighting in the arts.

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Like the survival archetypes, the Dilettante or Amateur can alert you when you are in danger of becoming merely superficial in your pursuits, or losing the love that drew you to your avocation in the first place. The shadow Dilettante manifests as a pretension to much deeper knowledge than you actually possess. Sexual energy provides great power when properly channeled. Like the Femme Fatale, the Don Juan archetype can make us aware of falling into sex role cliches, misusing the power of romantic attraction and pursuit. Although associated with sensuality and sophistication, this archetype represents a man preying on women for the sake of conquest alone.

Sex addiction is not about sex but about the need to gain control of someone. Don Juan radiates an attitude that all women need him far more than he needs them, and that he is invulnerable to their charms. The positive aspect of this archetype is its underlying vulnerability and its power to open wide a heart that is capable of deep love. As many stories portray, once the gigolo meets his match, he has also found his mate.

But his match, in keeping with the profile of this pattern, must have emotional independence and the self-esteem to be immune to his manipulative skills. The Italian version is the faun, and in Slavonic culture, the Ljeschi ; Priapus Greek and Roman deity of gardens attributed with enormous genitals ; Aka Manah in Zoroastrianism, the personification of sensual desire. The characteristics of the Engineer reflect the grounded, orderly, strategic qualities of mind that convert creative energy into a practical expression. This archetype also manifests as a talent for engineering everyday situations or designing solutions to common dilemmas.

The ability to confront evil in the form of possession by destructive or antisocial impulses in oneself and others is as valuable today as it was in the time of Jesus, the master Exorcist. Just as modern biblical scholars suggest that the demons that Jesus cast out may have been forms of psychological illness, so we can see our own inner demons as arising from forces that we feel are beyond our control.

To include this among your family of archetypes, however, you would have to find a life-long pattern or exorcising the negative spirits of others or of social groups or society. The shadow Exorcist attacks the evil in others without having the courage to face his own demons. This archetype combines a talent for creating or initiating with the ability to oversee others, whether a biological family or a group of creative people. The shadow Father emerges when that caring guidance and protection turns into dictatorial control or abuse of authority.

You will need to uncover a life-long attachment to the role of family patriarch, however you conceive of that family. The female counterpart of Don Juan sometimes adds the twist of killing her conquests as an expression of her ability to dominate, thereby reversing the conventional sexual stereotypes. As with Don Juan, the Femme Fatale represents highly refined skills at manipulating men without investing personal emotion. The Femme Fatale is a sexual and a financial archetype, and either comes from or is drawn to money and power.

Seducing men with money and power and for the sake of personal control and survival is a classic part of this archetype, although the Femme Fatale is not looking for a home in the suburbs and the pleasures of family life. Her name is Zeleikha in Islamic tradition ; Tapairu Polynesian nymphs who inhabit the waters that lead to the underworld.

The goddess of death employs them to seduce men away from the earth ; Lorelei in Teutonic myth, a beautiful maiden who drowned herself after being spurned by her lover, and was then transformed into a siren whose hypnotic music lured sailors to their death.